Uncategorized birthday, celebration, cupcakes, Ernest, Grapes 5:49 pm
Happy birthday to Grapes. Even though she boogied down with her best friends last Saturday, I feel it is still not too late to wish her all the happiness in the world. After all, today is her real birthday.
I do believe we will be having an intimate family cupcake-eating celebration tonight. Ernest will love that.
Uncategorized boring, couple, James, La Poo Poo, life, love, mundane, spa, Sushi 5:43 pm
Ernest returned home from camp last week, and we’ve been trying to help him chronicle his time there. That’s that, and I suppose I should be doing some updating of my own.
For the past several months I have been relaying the details of a love affair between my colleague, James, and Grapes’ friend, Sushi. They were a lovely couple, perhaps the loveliest couple I have ever met, but I am sad to say that James has finally put things behind him and accepted the fact that Sushi has moved on.
I personally have no idea what man she is fooling around with now, although I’m sure Grapes knows.
In any case, life has been complacent and somewhat dull. I did not feel the need to share the mundane bits with you, but Grapes is getting angry at me because she has nothing to read so here it is.
I haven’t been to a spa in too long. I need some relaxation, running around in my line of work frazzles the fur and weakens the mind. Even a decent pedicure would work wonders at this point of my fatigue.
I may take another sabbatical and spend it at Fifi’s Canine Palace. She’s probably forgotten me by now, I haven’t been there in months.
As a testament to the mediocrity of my current state of living, I shall end my post here.
Uncategorized 9:23 pm
Ernest just asked me if I would like to invite a pretty girl to his birthday for him. Now why would I do that? Inviting pretty girls to your birthday is a part of every man’s growing up process.
That sounded worse than I meant it to be.
Uncategorized blog, brother, love triangle, Sushi, vacation 11:00 pm
Hello friends, it’s been a while. Things have since calmed down from that tumultous mess that was the Sushi love triangle. How are you?
James threw himself back into his work. Whether that will do more damage than good, we have yet to see. I hear that the other man also left her, which I personally think serves her right. I won’t say any more, though, as she is Grapes’s buddy.
I’ve been told I blog in lengthy uninteresting paragraphs and occasionally, that I sound like a UN diplomat. I apologize, and I will certainly try to make it more casual. In fact, this post is one such attempt. Can you feel the tension lifting with this casual diction, man?
I was given a day off to “hang out” with my “brother” Ernest, which I took wholeheartedly. We played frisbee in the yard and generally had brotherly fun. Grapes joined in for a few minutes before she was off to orchestra.
Please feel free to comment if there’s anything about my posts you would like to see changed. Now that I have a lesser workload, I’ll be around more often. Grapes suggested to me that I should maybe close this blog down, but that would be really sad.
Uncategorized affair, brothers, Ernest, Indian pop star, James, love, popcorn, spa, Sushi, The Importance of Being Earnest 10:51 pm
The half-year long affair is over. Yesterday, James finally learned of his love’s traitorous actions and had no other coice but to leave her. It broke his heart, but he’s not letting that interfere with his work. What a brave soul.
The other man was none other than an Indian pop star and humanitarian. Figures, because Sushi was never one to be monogamous. Neither was James, but he had been willing to put the past away for her.
Ernest watched “The Importance of Being Earnest” the other day, and you should have seen him twitching in the popcorn bowl every time someone said “Ernest”. He’s almost one-years-old, I can’t believe it.
This calls for a brotherly trip to the spa.
Uncategorized affair, birthday, Chiranjeevi, inheritance, love, modeling, photo, poor, savings, Sushi, suspension 3:39 pm
All is ruined.
Photos were found online of my partner, James, and myself.
Thursday morning my boss pulls us into her office and shows us the pictures, demanding an explanation. We had been out at a club scoping out an important person. There had been paparazzi, but that was to be expected.
“Why didn’t you disguise yourself?” she reprimanded in that quiet yell she has.
We hadn’t thought of that. James was suspended, as he has been many times, and I too am stuck at home. Ernest is excited to see me, and to hear that I will be at his birthday fete. He doesn’t quite understand that our only constant source of money is diminishing and he may not have a birthday at all.
Of course I have my various inheritances and modeling money, but that is to be saved.
James is to surprise Sushi with a romantic appearance. I fear it may turn disastrous as well when he sees who she has been spending all her time with. Chiranjeevi beware!
Uncategorized cheating, cool, fired, love, snotty, stealthy, unemployment, work 7:52 pm
Sigh, it’s been a while.
I apologize for not posting – but I’ve met a lot of negative reactions to this blog.
“I can’t understand him.” being one of the key remarks.
“He’s too snobby.” being another.
Here I am, pressing the enter key every other sentence so that this post is aesthetically pleasing.
…Who am I kidding?
Excuse me if I sound depressing, but you try being burdened by a dear friend’s love trials. James has been unsure of Sushi’s love for a while now, and her distance increases daily. They rarely speak anymore, and although he carries her picture in a stealthily-hidden breast pocket, he can never be sure that she returns the favor.
His performance at work has decreased drasticallly. He may even be on the verge of being fired.
I dare not tell him the truth, for he may sink deeper into depression and never be rescued. Then he would be certain of unemployment.
Uncategorized Abraham Lincoln, birthday, caribbean, Ernest, gets around, Grapes, habits, island, James, lost, Monday, paper bag, phobia, recycling plant, scandalous, Sushi, work 6:25 pm
It’s been weeks and we still have had no word of Ernest.
Indeed, I returned to work hoping for some sort of relief but James is also in a desperate state. Sushi is distant with him lately, and while I have asked Grapes what could possibly be the matter, she just shakes her head dramatically and reminds me that we are speaking of Sushi. Old habits die hard.
I immediately understood. But how does one relate such knowledge to one’s best friend?
Life is difficult. I’ll be flying out to the Caribbean in search of our dear paper bag this Monday. Although, I am concerned about leaving Grapes in such a vulnerable state on Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. Poor girl – she has a severe case of Lincolnphobia.
I did some research and it turns out there’s a recycling plant on a remote nameless little island. I do hope Ernest didn’t end up there.
There Is No Title. Saturday, May 2 2009
Uncategorized birthday, christening, comment, cupcakes, Ernest, food, Grapes, hate, La Poo Poo, Miya, Miyanism, mouth surgery, twitter grapes 11:00 pm
I may soon lose my carefully composed demeanor over the comment I received. I shall allow myself one huzzah.
Huzzah.
To explain my identity, I must say that I am Grapes dog. Although I am richer than her because of my lengthy stint as an underwear model, and have much better taste. I can not speak of my current career. Maybe those cunning enough will figure it out, and then I will be fired, unfortunately, for my own good. You can read more in my “about” page.
Ernest’s birthday is this Thursday, and his christening is all set to go. As Grapes is the High Priest of Miyanism, she shall call upon the great god Miya to christen Ernest. Of course, there will be no water involved.
Everyone is invited to celebrate, especially if they bring food. Ernest is fond of cupcakes. Then you shall be especially invited. Oh Ernest, it seems only yesterday I was hating your paper guts and trying to prevent your mouth surgery so that you would never speak.
Don’t tell him, but Ernest might get a twitter on his birthday. Dear god, help us when that happens.
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