Huzzah to a New Beginning Friday, Nov 21 2008

The other day I got a wakeup call and joined Jenny Craig. Just kidding, why would I need it? I was an underwear model, after all, and although I have a large appearance that is just all the natural poof in my fur.

I woke up with sudden determination and fed up with my current occupation, which is, as you know, paper clip sorting. I think the sudden change of heart must have been from my last massage and foot bath at Fifi’s. It’s the closest canine spa in town, and fortunately one of the best. I definitely recommend it. In fact, I bet you could go there and get a discount if you mention me. I’m one of their most frequent customers, and I did do several commercials for them. Also, my celebrity brought much publicity in my underwear modeling days.

I stormed into Gerald’s office and told him I was quitting. Then I set out and within the next hour Peru called. Now I’ve got a job, the same as before paper clip sorting, but for a different organization. And much more dangerous this time around. Life, my friends, is just beginning.

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Hurrah. Monday, Nov 17 2008

Ernest has been cured, thankfully. Friday evening he started shaking, a symptom that we had then yet to encounter, so we drove him to a medical center with intensive down syndrome treatment*.

Basically, they fed him grapefruits for two days and today he returned the same Ernest as he was a month ago.

Well, we’re glad to have him back.

 

*this post is fiction.

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Back From the Dead Tuesday, Nov 11 2008

My mentality is, why post when you have nothing postworthy? This explains my recent absence. After all, who wishes to hear about paper clip sorting? But Grapes insisted, so here I am.

I’ve been spending my day off at the resort. Fifi’s Pet Palace, to be exact. They always have what I need when I’m feeling down in the dumps. I had a relaxing pedicure and some French dog biscuits washed down with a delightful glass of red wine. I’m feeling much better now.

Perhaps I should begin doing a bit of job-hunting. Or impressing of the current boss.

In the meantime, Ernest is still sick, but it seems to be getting better.

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What Does One Bloody Title These Things Anyways? Monday, Nov 3 2008

Apparently there was an encounter at the supermarket today. Ernest took it in stride, he seems overjoyed to have confronted Baguette, that viper. And I think that it is good for him to let out his anger and take the authoritative position in the relationship.

If I had been there, I would have removed her from this earth. With discretion, of course.

Today in my life was pretty boring. Paper clip sorting again, as usual. I didn’t dare bring it up to my boss, however. He would have fired me. He has one of those visors that deflect brilliance, so he is immune. Korean mothers also wear it at Grapes’s school when they pick up their children from school.

I have begun a new job hunt, but I will forever be held accountable to keep my current occupation a secret. Not the paper clip sorting, but the one before, under the same employer. I am ashamed of my demotion. I feel I have failed to bring home income. Now I sort as quickly as I can because I am payed based on the number of paper clips I sort in a day. Occasionaly the clips are jagged at the edges. Oh well. Bloody paws are nothing a little pedicure can’t fix.

Although, pedicures have gotten a bit expensive. Last night Grapes introduced me to the wonder of Vaseline and that strange Tiger Balm paste that Grapes’s people use. It’s stinging to the eyes, however, but clearing of the nostrils. Smells nothing like red wine.

Typing reopened a few wounds. I’m going to go put on some Tiger Balm. Grapes’s family doesn’t believe in Vaseline.

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